Friday, June 29, 2007

It's Just A Life Story, So There's No Climax

Current Song: "Direct Hit" -- Art Brut

I am skipping my class today, right now, as we breathe and tap our toes. I failed to secure printer access in time to do my homework, and I cracked the scheduling code so I am 88% sure that the impromptu speeches are today. So it was a good day not to go, but it's costing me a lot, grade-wise.

I am looking forward to my vacation next week. Looking forward to it so hard I'm leaving fingernail marks in the dream.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I Just Want You To Be Happy

I never know what to do anymore.

And I Can Take Or Leave It As I Please

Current Song: "Suicide Is Painless" -- Johnny Mandel and Mike Altman

Keli is sleepy, all the time.

Forgot my notes for my speech this morning and it affected my performance. We're supposed to watch them on videotape tomorrow and I'd rather die. I was wearing an unflattering outfit and stammering all over the place.

Most Interesting La La La:

A guy outside the office I was working in making a really low insult about my former boss and his research. Made me laugh without stopping. This message is vague and nonsensical.

*P.S. You are crabby lately and it makes me sad.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

All Us Boys On Death Row

Current Song: "Idioteque" -- Radiohead

I just spent six hours working on assembling a speech wherein I demonstrate how to deal a hand of Texas Hold 'Em. Now my back hurts and I still don't want to do the speech.

I just realized I haven't eaten since 11 o'clock this morning. Except for a decaf iced latte that I drank around 1 while I was killing time in the Purple Onion waiting for a girl who had only bad news.

Honestly, today was not that great.

Except for the part where my speech class got trimmed down by two days and now ends on Wednesday instead of on Friday. That was good news.

Most Interesting Blah Blah Blah:

The Purple Onion doesn't serve naturally un-caffeinated herbal tea. Luckily the girl behind the counter knows me and recommended against ordering it before mistakes were made irreversible.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

There Are 354 Chris Benoit Action Figures On Ebay Right Now

Current Song: "Volcanoes" -- Islands

I choked on nervousness during my speech but I guess it went okay anyway. I remembered to breathe.

I did not care for the humidity today.

I am tired of my packed schedule. I sure hope it gets to be July 6th soon.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today:

Two middle-aged women in scrubs pushing an open-mouthed mannequin on a fully decked gurney through the lobby of Phillips-Wangensteen and talking casually like it was no big deal.

Monday, June 25, 2007

There's So Many More Of Us Than There Are Of Them

Current Song: "No Cars Go" -- Arcade Fire

I have been writing/refining/practicing my speech for hours and for some reason now one of my ears hurts. Also I kept getting distracted because there is no privacy in this apartment so I am blasting Arcade Fire to cover up my rehearsing and I had to keep singing along. I got the music down, down, down in my heart, you know.

The speech assignment is to give a speech for 2-3 minutes on something we believe in. Everyone turned in their topics today and they range from "playoffs for college football" to "immigration reform" to "love at first sight." I'm speaking about medical marijuana and it's going to be a huge downer. I picked the topic specifically because it's something that I have an opinion on but I am not particularly emotionally invested in it, so it's not a huge personal risk to get up and talk to a bunch of freshman/athletes about it. But then today she said "Don't research the topic, talk about why you personally believe in it." So I ended up writing a speech about all the people I know who've died of AIDS and how much relief marijuana brought into their lives. Which is kind of a downer. And because I'm a glutton for punishment and also really self-involved, here's the transcript:

"Good morning, everyone. I'm going to talk to you today about why I believe that medical marijuana should be legalized.
There are several benefits to legalization. For one thing, marijuana has fewer health risks than many legal alternatives, such as prescription painkillers. Prescription painkillers can cause liver and stomach damage and are relatively easy to overdose on. In addition, when traditional remedies fail, chronically ill people often turn to alcohol to escape. Alcohol can kill a user by itself or when mixed with other medications, even over-the-counter medications. On the other hand, it is very difficult to ingest a lethal amount of marijuana, even in combination with alcohol or other drugs.
Once it is legalized, marijuana can be made even more safe by government regulation that can prevent it from being mixed, or 'cut', with other potentially lethal substances.
In addition to being a safer alternative, marijuana is significantly cheaper than prescription painkillers. For a reasonable price a user can obtain seeds, soil, and growing lights and grow their own marijuana at home for as long as they need. For chronically ill people, this can make a critical difference in their quality of life.
From 2005 to 2006, I spent the year working with men who had AIDS. Most of them were homeless or living in government-subsidized housing. Most couldn't afford their prescriptions and got help from community resources or just went without. All of them were noticeably sick. Most of them used marijuana in order to relieve some of their chronic pain and escape from their harsh realities.
Over two weeks in April, six of them died, just like that. I knew these men. I knew how much pain they were in and how difficult it was for them. I never asked any of them if marijuana made their lives easier. But I'm not going to say that it didn't. I know that in the short time they were given, it provided them with an escape from the disease that had left them trapped in their own bodies.
Disease like AIDS, stomach cancer, bone cancer, and multiple sclerosis don't just target people who can afford to buy painkillers. But escape from the relentless pain, nausea, and tremors that come with these diseases can be found cheaply, safely, in a medication that can be grown by the user at almost no cost to the user or the state. And that is why I believe that medical marijuana should be legalized."

What about you? What are you writing speeches about lately?

I Don't Really Want To Swim With You

Current Song: "There Was A Day In The Graveyard II" -- Sunset Rubdown

I've been sporting fatigue and achy joints for two days. Where will this end, I wonder?

I'm thinking of skipping the second speech I'm supposed to do this week. We're supposed to demonstrate how to do something using visual aids, for five minutes, and I can't think of anything and I pretty much just don't wanna. So I have to do the math on it and see if I can come out of the class okay with just not showing up to that one.

I wish it was the last week of August so I could go home and have my mom baby me.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Sorry, Roger, You Tiger Now

Current Song: "Mind of God" -- The Jim Yoshii Pile-Up

This is Pride weekend and I've done nothing to further the cause. Saturday I woke up at about 11:30, worked for an hour at my internship, made breakfast, and then went back to bed until 5:30. Altogether I slept about 15 hours. That's probably not good for me. After I woke up again I went out and got drunk with the Usual Suspects. That's probably not good for me either. All I did today was watch movies on Comedy Central and have problems with my elbows. I skinned one somehow and the other one has been twitching for over an hour.

I could use some more sleep. There's never enough, never enough.

Most Interesting Thing I Learned Yesterday: Flavored vodkas contain caffeine, according to the bar staff at Sergeant Preston's. Which ruins any hope I could ever have about drinking fishbowls.

Friday, June 22, 2007

These Days I Wake Up

Current Song: "Silver Sparkler" -- The Jim Yoshii Pile-Up

Why is it damp and cold everywhere I go today?

I went to Burrito Loco with Robby and Erica, then watched part of the NHL draft with Robby and Susan, then went to a party at Brian and Eric's with Lila. And that was after I got out of work and class and errand-running and whatnot. It was a rich, full day.

I'm so tired and I'm still awake.

Most Interesting Thing Etc: I walked from University and Central back to my house and I still was home before I would have been if I'd waited for the bus. Robby had the decency to escort me home via cellphone because otherwise that route takes me through some poorly lit and intimidating areas.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

You Look Like A Night In Cuba

I gave my acceptance speech for my stupid class this morning. It was mostly a sea of jokes that died on impact and trembling hands. So, you know, the usual. Also, to stave off future questioning, I accepted the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for my role as Jennifer Lopez in "The Wedding Planner II: Revenge of the Wedding Planner." Which nobody thought was as funny as I did.

I can't believe there are educated people walking around trying to convince others that evolution isn't real. I really don't understand the disconnect between believing in creationism and believing in evolution. Why couldn't they both be real? Why can't we all just get along? Why are we still debating this in the World of Goddamn Tomorrow?

Speaking of which, I hope they don't figure out the secret to hovercars until I'm dead and gone, because that seems like it would be really fun and I don't think I could get one.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

This Is How I Feel All The Time

("Showbiz" -- Muse [from Hullabaloo])

Our Time Is Clearly Running Out

I got my student loan money, so now I can afford to buy groceries, buy some concert tickets, and go home to visit my parents. In addition to paying my several-thousand-dollar tuition bill for the summer. I got a notice the other day that I owe approximately $66,000 in student loans and that was before this one. And I haven't gotten notified that I won any scholarships for next year, so maybe that total is going to skyrocket. See, and you thought I didn't have any reason to be depressed.

This, and things like this, are what make me bother to get out of bed:

("Our Time Is Running Out" -- Muse) (also my Current Song, obviously)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Why Is Christian Slater Still Getting Work?

Current Song: "Possum Kingdom" -- The Toadies

I don't want to play anymore.

Also, my nephew got a hold of the phone today and yelled "I love you Auntie Keli" into it in his painfully adorable 2-year-old baby voice and I fell utterly in love with him.

Most Interesting Thing I Found Out Today: "Saint Anthony" is a suburb somewhere between Roseville and Robbinsdale. "Saint Anthony Village" is a neighborhood around the Saint Paul side of Como. This is a critical distinction when you are riding public transportation and you don't know where you're going.

Monday, June 18, 2007

This Man Wants To Be Your President

Former Senator Mike Gravel, who is running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008, made this campaign video for you:

Frankly, that's pretty B.A.

Don't Hurt Me No More

Current Song: "What Is Love?" -- Haddaway

I have to go read this children's book tomorrow to my class and I was confident about it all day but now I'm panicking. I was telling Lila about my various experiences with stage fright, including the time when I was so terrified I went deaf in one ear for the entire time I was onstage, which severely affected my performance, and the time I was required to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on the piano for a role as a former piano prodigy, and I don't play piano at all, and during one of the performances I walked up to the piano and went absolutely blank and the keys and I stared at each other for an interminable amount of time before I just hit some randomly and tried to nonchalantly walk away. Anyway, it didn't help but she laughed which made me laugh so it wasn't all bad.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: Goddamn Cartoon Network playing the Robot Chicken Star Wars special on the hour for several hours.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

He's Just Looking For A Ride

I'm crabby and all I want to do is eat. Why hasn't my student loan check arrived yet?

Kyle: That's not it. That's not being nice, that's just wearing a nice sweater.
Cartman: I...don't understand the difference.
Kyle: I know you don't.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

In A Big Country

I went on a Magical Mystery Tour of Minneapolis today when I got on the wrong bus. It turned a quick run downtown into a three hour ordeal.

I am pretty sure I'm coming down with something.

I picked out a children's book to read for my public speaking class on Monday. It's one of those Mercer Mayer books with the gender-ambiguous hedgehog or whatever and it has a surprise ending where the caterpillars turn into butterflies and it was the best science fair ever. I think that I won't die from reading it to the class but I guess we'll see on Monday. It's a cute book, though, and it comes with stickers, so I'm going to give it to my sister's kids when I don't need it anymore.

Our power went out this morning a couple minutes before 7 AM and it was still out 4 hours later when I left, but it was on again when I came back at 3. So the point is, the power was out for at least four hours, do you think I should throw out what's left of my milk?

Friday, June 15, 2007

Don't Push Me, Man

I have been having panic attacks all day--I assume this is how it begins. If you are not the kind of person that can empathize with pervasive, deeply rooted, overwhelming fear that is destructive to your life and your health, then I envy you.

I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do about this class. I have to get up and read a children's story and/or a poem for two to three minutes on Monday, and then a couple days later I have to give a fake acceptance speech for one minute, and honestly when I start thinking about either one of these things my heart starts racing and I can't breathe. I have been putting this class off for three years because I didn't think I could do it and I'm afraid that I'm right and I'm out of options. My hands are shaking, my heart feels like it's caught in a vise, I'm nauseous, I'm on the verge of tears. And that's just sitting here thinking about it. This is so bad, I don't know what to do.

Mistake #447

I cracked under the pressure after only five days. By which I mean, I panicked and ran out of my public speaking class because today's agenda was "Let's Play Charades" and it was too much. Too much too much too much. Oh my God, how am I going to get through this?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

This Is My Favorite Thing That Has Ever Happened

And this chubby, homely, Welsh mobile phone salesman is my favorite person ever:

Come Play With Us, Danny. Forever And Ever And Ever.

Current Song: "Intervention" -- Arcade Fire

The curious joys of public speaking class continue. Today, in order to demonstrate the importance of listening, the instructor got us playing that game Telephone. You know, where someone whispers a message to you and you whisper it to the person on the other side until it comes out garbled somewhere down the end. The important things to remember about today's game of Telephone (and I assure you these are neither fabrications nor exaggerations):

1. The game started at approximately 9:15 AM and ended at 10:40 AM. Seriously. It was about an hour and a half of Telephone.

2. About 20 minutes in the class divided into teams and began playing Competitive Telephone, which turned into a screaming match where chairs got knocked over and somebody almost cried.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: An 18-year-old hockey player, red faced, waving his arms around, throwing a book across a table and screaming "This is bush league!" after losing a point in a children's game.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'd Like You To Cite Your Sources On That

Current Song: "I Want To Come Over" -- Melissa Etheridge

I went out drinking with Chad and Dan, now I'm tipsy and full of Qdoba burrito.

If I have to keep going to my public speaking class I'm going to lose it. Today we had to name public figures that were ethical/unethical, and this happened (this is not an exaggeration):

Some Incoming Freshman Hockey Player: "I got one for the unethical list...Jim Crow."
Some Other Incoming Freshman Hockey Player: "Uh, was he the guy with all the laws?"
First Guy: "Yeah."
Second Guy: "Oh, OK."

Minutes later one of them announced that Marilyn Manson was the guy who played Paul in the Wonder Years, which the other one and some girl wholeheartedly agreed with. First Guy also insisted that Kim Jong-Il wears high heels and dresses (I mean really insisted, not like he was making fun of him but like he was repeating a fact.) Also, the Second Guy asked me who Florence Nightingale was and I was too disheartened to explain.

Most Interesting Thing I Heard Today (Besides The "Jim Crow" Exchange):

"Hey, what about that doctor...uh, Dr. Cook? Dr. Korn? Dr. Kerry?"
"Yeah, I think it's Dr. Kerry?"
"It's Dr...Kevor? Kevlar? Keverson?"
"Oh my God, do you mean Dr. Kevorkian?" (that was me)
"Yeah...he just got out of jail, right? He killed like 200 people."

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Of Course...I'm Tommy Chong, Man

Somebody vandalized the Wikipedia entry for Britney Spears, adding a section labeled "Death" with the following text:

"Spears died from a drug overduse and to many dusages of Pain killers more info will be confirmed on June 23, 2007"

Which I thought was kind of funny.

Baby Daughter On The Road

Current Song: "Rhode Island Bound" -- Brian and Stewie Griffin

I am supposed to be at the MN AIDS Project in half an hour to prepare to march in the Pride parade on the 24th. But the parts of my life that are psychologically exhausting tend to occur in clusters between the late night and the early morning, which means that right now all I want to do is lie down and stare vacantly at the television. I am trying to believe that doesn't make me a bad person. To be fair, the Pride parade occurs on a Sunday, which is the only day of the week I have where I don't have to be anywhere in particular.

Apparently I qualify for college credit for the research I am doing for fun, which seems kind of cool, but if I have to enroll in a class for it (e.g. have to pay for the credits) then I don't think I can make that happen. Also they offered me another opportunity to work on another project where I could get involved in piloting the actual intervention. I talked to my boss, because it would mean I'd have to miss work a couple times a month, but she told me to go for it.

Jesus Christ I need a hug and a nap.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: "The House Of Yahweh Newsletter," May 2007 issue, which carries the banner headline "Soon, A Nuclear Baby: June 12, 2007". The absolutely insane ranting in the article explains that sometime today, one third of the people over one fourth of the Earth around the Euphrates river will be killed in a nuclear explosion. The good news is, by October 13th, 2007, three quarters of mankind will have been killed by earthquakes, plague, or bombs. So we all have that to look forward to.

Monday, June 11, 2007

There Will Be An Answer

Current Song: "Let It Be" -- The Beatles

This is my current song because it gets stuck in my head whenever I find myself in times of trouble. I don't know if I'm going to make it with my sanity* intact.

*Such as it is.

And I Think She'd Be Lovely And Stubborn And Brave

Current Song: "A Stone" -- Okkervil River

My public speaking class is like my worst nightmares distilled in class form. Most of the other kids are incoming freshmen/Gopher hockey players, the instructor thinks she is "challenging" but actually she's "kind of a bitch," and today required each of us to stand in front of the class for a full minute in silence making eye contact with everyone in the audience. Which, if you know me, you'll realize will drive me to suicide.

Oh my God, will I ever be able to run far enough that I wouldn't have to take this class?

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: The eyes of each and every one of my classmates boring individually into my vulnerable soul.

Subliminal, Liminal, and Superliminal

Current Song: "Yvan Eht Nioj" -- The Party Posse

My corneas have felt scratchy and irritated since I woke up Sunday morning on Robby's futon with my contacts still in. This was a bad plan.

I have to leave for my first day of public speaking class in ten minutes and I'm dead scared.

It was an eventful weekend but nothing bad, just active. On a tangentially related topic, I have gotten a pair of frames with non-prescription lenses that I am thinking about converting into real glasses, but I'm collecting opinions on how I look in them. They are grey and square and very hipsterish, which I think I can pull off because I am also grey and square and hipsterish. The problem is, I've asked three people and I've gotten one enthusiastic yes, one diplomatic no, and one yes that became a qualified yes when she noted that the glasses drew attention to the fact that my eyebrows are just straight lines. And now all I can think about is how I have the eyebrows of Bert from Sesame Street.

Here's something for you:

Q. Why don't dinosaurs talk?

A. Because they're all dead.

Thank you, Brian Regan.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

In The Big City

Current Song: "In A Radio Song" -- Okkervil River

I had a meeting with the data analyst guy for my internship and he was like "You're doing a great job, I just have one little note, uh, everything you've done is wrong. But it's okay! But you're going to have to fix it and it's going to take forever." So I spent three hours this morning in the world's most uncomfortable chair (it actually gives me back spasms) scrambling to change my "missing information" notations into legitimate data points. Moral of the story: it was annoying, but it was my fault.

Lila is allegedly cooking me dinner tonight. We're also planning our escape to my parents' island, which looks like it's pretty well set for the last week of August. I haven't seen my parents since 2005. And their island sounds pretty sweet.

I'm pretty convinced that my mother thinks that Lila and I are Life Partners, and I'm not really working to dispel that myth, as it's better to have her refuse to talk about my sexual orientation than to have her confront me with her belief that I am an antisocial hermit with no friends. I love them and all, but my parents are not in favor of same-sex relationships, so it's been a complete non-discussion in my family for my entire life even though everybody knows. It's a cruel open secret. Cruel in that for most of my adolescence my parents went out of their way to make homophobic slurs specifically to me, even though I know they know because we are all not stupid. Also when I was 13 I overheard them discussing my sexual orientation with my grandma which was traumatic as at 13 I was still largely unaware of where I was headed. At 26 I'm still largely unaware of where I'm headed. I don't feel like I should have to settle into a specific label with all its attendant lifestyle quirks. Maybe I'm ahead of my time, but what's wrong with being attracted to an individual without regard to gender? And why should that be my defining characteristic? Sexual orientation is stupid.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: I was gone for three hours this morning and when I came home, an enormous blue kite in the form of a dragon was hanging from the ceiling in the middle of my living room. It's absolutely not staying there, it hangs almost to the floor and I don't relish the thought of having to dodge things in my own home. Is it so hard to have practicality in mind when making decorating decisions?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I Might Be Having A Stroke

Current Song: "Hard To Concentrate" -- Red Hot Chili Peppers

I left work an hour early because nobody was around to care and I didn't want to sit there anymore.

My apartment smells like fresh paint.

I had been completely losing my shit regarding the can opener situation, a mental state that was being communicated in increasingly erratic Post-It notes stuck on the kitchen cabinets, so one of the ladies who live here finally buckled and bought a new can opener. Which restored my sanity. For the most part. Why would you steal a can opener?

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: Nothing, man. Today was a black abyss. Did you see the movie "The Neverending Story"? The Nothing is coming.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

This Is Why I Rock

Current Song: "Poison" -- Bell Biv DeVoe

I had an enormously frustrating day at work that can be illustrated by the fact that it took me 40 minutes to fax someone an 8 page document because our fax machine gave up on life and would only fax one page at a time. And then it was the wrong document.

The can opener still hasn't been returned to our kitchen so I once again had to open a can with a hammer, a screwdriver, and a pair of pliers. I am infuriated by the audacity of whoever thought it was okay to take the can opener out of the kitchen and then not put it back. Infuriated, I say.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: I don't know, something. I can't remember, I'm too angry about the can opener.

An Eye For An Eye Leaves The Whole World Blind

Current Song: "Keep The Car Running" -- Arcade Fire

Hey, in case it crops up, just so there's no confusion, I am strongly in favor of donating what's left of me to a body farm or medical research center after my organs are donated. Not that it's likely that it will crop up. But if anybody asks, now you know.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

It's Just A Bad Movie

Current Song: "Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe" -- Okkervil River

I just bought "Black Sheep Boy." Knowing you is costing me a lot.

Go here to listen to my current song which is fucking great.

Where Are We Going? Why Are We In This Handbasket?

Current Song: "Perfect Crime #2" -- The Decemberists (the crap they were playing on the Current was ATROCIOUS and this was what was in the CD drive so it's what I went with. Again.)

I have a whole pile of forms that I was supposed to make copies of and mail out to our students - the pile stretches back to April 16, mind you - and forces are continuously aligning to prevent me from doing so. Every time I go in the copy room, the machine is broken or we're out of paper or the phone rings just as I am leaving and it's some crisis I have to deal with for the rest of the day. This is annoying to me but it must be a real pain in the ass for the people who are waiting on their forms.

If any of you want to march in the Gay Pride Parade on June 24th with me, you should let me know before Tuesday the 12th. If all goes as planned, I'll be helping hold the enormous rainbow flag that people throw spare change into to donate to the MN AIDS Project. It promises to be ridicously campy, if nothing else.

None of the tasks I have to do at work sound enjoyable right now, and I have nearly three more hours left. I could duck out and go to lunch, I guess, but that doesn't sound that great either.

Oh, and if I haven't talked to you about it: My sculpture class got cancelled at the last minute due to low enrollment. Actually, it got cancelled about two hours AFTER I had signed a promissory note for an $8000 loan to pay for it and my other class. So, faced with the option of waiting for the check and then sending back half the money, or just having an extra $5000 or so after I pay my tuition, I've pretty much decided to keep the $5000. I would have to pay it back anyway if I were taking the class. At this point I owe somewhere over $60,000 (possibly much, much more) and $5000 is just another drop of rain in the ocean.

Most Interesting Thing I've Discovered Today: I spent the morning tracking down physicians for whom we had incorrect mailing addresses, and I discovered that one of them retired from his practice to become a full-time yoga instructor. Right on, brother.

Monday, June 04, 2007

My Laundry Detergent Smells Delicious

Current Song: "3 AM" -- Matchbox 20

I suck at Donkey Kong Country.

There is not enough food in my life.

I hate Kathy Griffin a little.

The guy that played the demon-possessed fetishist necrophiliac serial killer Donny Pfaster in the X-Files is now playing a mutilating necrophiliac serial killer named Brodus on Law and Order: SVU and I'm thinking, I bet it's hard for that guy to get someone to rent him an apartment.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today: A very fat guy with a bushy gray beard, dressed like a Wild West Outlaw, riding slowly down the sidewalk on a bicycle. He greeted me jovially as I passed.

Back In Black

I got an automatic reply from Gov. Pawlenty that included this note:

"Messages are routed to the appropriate person for assistance or compiled by issue area for the Governor’s review. Please know that your comments are important to our office and will be thoroughly considered."

Gee, I hope they consider my ad hominem attack thoroughly.

Gov. Pawlenty is a dick.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

And Behold, I Saw A Pale Horse

Sick or something. Unhappy, definitely unhappy.

We Think The Same Things At The Same Time

Living in my head and it turns out I'm not that interesting.

You know what we need? A bottle of wine and a hot tub.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

You're As Cold As Ice

Current Song: "Spirit In The Sky" -- Norman Greenbaum

I spent three hours this morning doing data entry for free. I've been doing dishes, cooking, eating, or lying down and staring at terrible TV ever since. I love Saturdays, I honestly do.

Knocked Up: thumbs up.

Loud obnoxious bluegrass band at the Kitty Kat Club until closing time: thumbs down.

Chubby drunk girl and guy who was not quite interested enough in making out with her to put down his beer (i.e. the floor show at the Kitty Kat Club): two thumbs up.

Can you stop being a bitch about this whole thing and just call me, or maybe try keeping the hostility out of your voice when I call you? Because I said I was sorry already and you're being kind of unreasonable. Seriously, I couldn't help it, you said you understood, so settle down.

Most Interesting Thing I Saw Yesterday (because all I've seen today is the inside of my apartment):

We went to some bar next to St. Anthony Main (I didn't get the name of the bar) that served these huge towers of beer, $25 bucks for the equivalent of about six beers. So there's this fat guy sitting down the patio, and apparently drinking one all to himself, and he stood up, aimed for his chair again, tumbled over and took the chair out. It was undignified.

Friday, June 01, 2007

You're The Places That I Wanted To Go

Current Song: "People As Places As People" -- Modest Mouse

I sure wouldn't mind if somebody came out with a new album soon and gave me some other songs to get stuck in my head.

I've been at work for an hour and I've done almost nothing work-related.

David Hyde Pierce finally came out of the closet, thus leaving my streak of wasting years of my life on men who ultimately turn out to be gay unbroken. Do you hear me, Doogie Howser?

I emailed Governor Tim Pawlenty this morning. I sent him this:

"Dear Governor Pawlenty,

The library by my house shut down because of you. You are the worst governor since Jesse Ventura.



To be fair, I did sign it. However, I keep my name off of this thing so my mom can't find it.

And finally, two notes:

1) Dance Band show last night was fantastic. You should have been there.

2) Even though I dragged my ragged ass into work this morning and tried to pretend I didn't have a hangover, I'm going out drinking tonight after we see Knocked Up for Dan's birthday.

Oh, Most Interesting Thing I Saw Yesterday (It's Too Early For Today):

Captain Octagon shaking his babymaker in a blue satin Speedo and a blue silk tie.