Don't Push Me, Man
I have been having panic attacks all day--I assume this is how it begins. If you are not the kind of person that can empathize with pervasive, deeply rooted, overwhelming fear that is destructive to your life and your health, then I envy you.
I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do about this class. I have to get up and read a children's story and/or a poem for two to three minutes on Monday, and then a couple days later I have to give a fake acceptance speech for one minute, and honestly when I start thinking about either one of these things my heart starts racing and I can't breathe. I have been putting this class off for three years because I didn't think I could do it and I'm afraid that I'm right and I'm out of options. My hands are shaking, my heart feels like it's caught in a vise, I'm nauseous, I'm on the verge of tears. And that's just sitting here thinking about it. This is so bad, I don't know what to do.
I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do about this class. I have to get up and read a children's story and/or a poem for two to three minutes on Monday, and then a couple days later I have to give a fake acceptance speech for one minute, and honestly when I start thinking about either one of these things my heart starts racing and I can't breathe. I have been putting this class off for three years because I didn't think I could do it and I'm afraid that I'm right and I'm out of options. My hands are shaking, my heart feels like it's caught in a vise, I'm nauseous, I'm on the verge of tears. And that's just sitting here thinking about it. This is so bad, I don't know what to do.
spit at you by Nil at 5:10 PM
1 Comments:
so, this is really random, and kind of creepy of me. but, you mention this mysterious "lila" sometimes, and I met a lila the other night on my friends' porch because she is their neighbor, so I did the facebook thing, and it is the lila you know--that is weird, and this is a run-on sentence.
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