Nothing Lasts Forever But The Earth And Sky
Current Song: "Shine A Light" -- Wolf Parade
I love running across songs in my queue that I haven't heard in a while. This is just such a great listening experience, and fun to sing along with.
I spent the entire day either sleeping, eating, watching the Simpsons (while intermittently sleeping) or applying for this amazing job that I really, really want. The job is as a Development Research Associate for the UMN Foundation. It's basically a lot of data management and secret dossier writing. Plus the pay and benefits are unbelievable, at least to me. Lila told me that if this was my first job out of college, she'd probably kill me. Her first job out of college was working part-time at a crooked retail store that she had to shut down every time she had to go to the bathroom. I emailed my mom my resume and cover letter and she said that I should have a really good chance. I am chronically attacked by fear and self-doubt about my ability to handle any skilled employment at all (low self-image about my capability, apparently) so I constantly think I am not qualified for jobs and mostly don't apply for jobs I want because I'm convinced I can't get them. So I'm relying on my mother's perspective (which, admittedly, might be a little skewed) as to how qualified I am for that particular job.
On the upside of constant self-doubt, I've fallen into the habit of taking every opportunity I can to build my resume. This has landed me in internships, volunteer jobs, paid jobs, travel, classes, and more. (It's why I'm presenting that paper we published to that research forum even though I've been clinically diagnosed with serious panic attacks related to a phobia of public speaking.) I'm always looking for the perfect combination of skills and experience that will allow me to be truly happy. It's an ambitious project, but God knows I am an ambitious person.
Anyway, I'm running a little high on the stress meter right now because I always am after I apply for something I really want and have to enter the waiting game. Waiting...it does not speak to my strengths.
I love running across songs in my queue that I haven't heard in a while. This is just such a great listening experience, and fun to sing along with.
I spent the entire day either sleeping, eating, watching the Simpsons (while intermittently sleeping) or applying for this amazing job that I really, really want. The job is as a Development Research Associate for the UMN Foundation. It's basically a lot of data management and secret dossier writing. Plus the pay and benefits are unbelievable, at least to me. Lila told me that if this was my first job out of college, she'd probably kill me. Her first job out of college was working part-time at a crooked retail store that she had to shut down every time she had to go to the bathroom. I emailed my mom my resume and cover letter and she said that I should have a really good chance. I am chronically attacked by fear and self-doubt about my ability to handle any skilled employment at all (low self-image about my capability, apparently) so I constantly think I am not qualified for jobs and mostly don't apply for jobs I want because I'm convinced I can't get them. So I'm relying on my mother's perspective (which, admittedly, might be a little skewed) as to how qualified I am for that particular job.
On the upside of constant self-doubt, I've fallen into the habit of taking every opportunity I can to build my resume. This has landed me in internships, volunteer jobs, paid jobs, travel, classes, and more. (It's why I'm presenting that paper we published to that research forum even though I've been clinically diagnosed with serious panic attacks related to a phobia of public speaking.) I'm always looking for the perfect combination of skills and experience that will allow me to be truly happy. It's an ambitious project, but God knows I am an ambitious person.
Anyway, I'm running a little high on the stress meter right now because I always am after I apply for something I really want and have to enter the waiting game. Waiting...it does not speak to my strengths.
spit at you by Nil at 10:25 PM
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