I Stopped Caring This Morning
Current Song: "Jason Believe Me, You Can't Trust Your Dreams" -- Sunset Rubdown
I have felt poorly all day thanks to the near liter of cheap, vanilla-flavored vodka I drank (straight up, no chaser) last night, apparently. I'm going to bed to start over with a new day.
Also, I don't remember if I mentioned it, but I am pretty well fucked over as far as housing. And they're going to put me in a group home "for a while" if I have to move out of here. As though my home were NOT the only place on Earth I can even pretend to relax. As though my entire life is not based on continuing instability. As though I can even move into someplace anymore and unpack like I'm going to stay there. I'm eight months into a 12 month lease here and I've not finished unpacking, and I never will, because I'm just going to have to move and keep moving and God I don't know if I can keep doing it. I'm willing to bet that you have no idea, absolutely no idea, what it's like to feel totally and completely temporary. Do me a favor. Someday soon, take a few minutes to meditate on the ways in which you feel attached to the world -- family, a home, traditions, cultural roots -- everything that you are pretty confident is not going to change, everything you know you will ALWAYS HAVE, and count your blessings. And realize that some people would give the world over to feel like you do, right now.
I have felt poorly all day thanks to the near liter of cheap, vanilla-flavored vodka I drank (straight up, no chaser) last night, apparently. I'm going to bed to start over with a new day.
Also, I don't remember if I mentioned it, but I am pretty well fucked over as far as housing. And they're going to put me in a group home "for a while" if I have to move out of here. As though my home were NOT the only place on Earth I can even pretend to relax. As though my entire life is not based on continuing instability. As though I can even move into someplace anymore and unpack like I'm going to stay there. I'm eight months into a 12 month lease here and I've not finished unpacking, and I never will, because I'm just going to have to move and keep moving and God I don't know if I can keep doing it. I'm willing to bet that you have no idea, absolutely no idea, what it's like to feel totally and completely temporary. Do me a favor. Someday soon, take a few minutes to meditate on the ways in which you feel attached to the world -- family, a home, traditions, cultural roots -- everything that you are pretty confident is not going to change, everything you know you will ALWAYS HAVE, and count your blessings. And realize that some people would give the world over to feel like you do, right now.
spit at you by Nil at 11:17 PM
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