Definitely Never Should Have Left The House
Current Song: "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" -- The Smiths
Okay, the following list of improbable things is why I did not make it to my Opera Club party tonight:
1) I was nearly eaten by a rottweiler on my way to the bus stop. It was on the sidewalk with its owner and I tried to walk behind it which apparently is a particular pet peeve of this particular dog, who lunged at me with his mouth open and some loud sounds. Pretty sure I yelled "Jesus!" at which point his owner just shook his head and said "You're fine." I love dogs and still did not care for this incident.
2) I had to call 911. Again. For like the 10th time in my life. Some guy was passed out in the middle of the sidewalk on Snelling and University, at the bus stop. I was on a bus that stopped there. Not only were there people on my bus specifically crowding up to the windows to point and laugh at him, there were people AT THE BUS STOP not one foot from his body that were laughing at him. So I called an ambulance, because whatever that guy's deal is, laying on the sidewalk in the rain is a bad choice. Also, I called 911 loudly from the bus and everyone that was on the bus that was laughing about him slunk back to their seats and stared out the windows and the bus was SILENT for the entire rest of the time that I was on it. And may I say, I'm glad all of you felt like assholes, because you were. If you or someone you loved were passed out on a sidewalk, wouldn't you want someone to look into it instead of pointing at you and laughing? WTF is wrong with this country?
3) I was supposed to pick up my bus at E Lake Street and Snelling (the mysterious other Snelling...I don't get it, but whatever.) I triple-checked Trip Planner to make sure that I was at the right stop. An hour went by and I was still standing there. I called MetroTransit, which said the next bus for that route was in 9 minutes. Sure enough, 9 minutes later, the bus came. On the other side of the street. Going the other direction.
4) At this point I was nearly an hour late and Leslie had been standing outside the venue for more than an hour (she couldn't get in as I had the tickets). I walked down to the Arby's to call a cab. The guy I talked to first said "Oh, I know where you are, I used to work at that Arby's..." then followed it up with, "Oh, your name's Keli? That's my babymomma name." I was like "Yeah, that's FINE" and then he said my cab would be at least 15 minutes.
5) Oh, also, when I told the guy the address I was going to he absolutely insisted that it didn't exist. I needed 1st STREET, he could only find 1st AVENUE. He was like "Just explain it to your driver when he gets there" but I didn't really know where it was so that would have been pretty hard.
6) At this point I called Leslie and was like "This has gone horribly wrong and I won't even get there for another half hour at an absolute minimum. This crossed the line from odd coincidence to evil omen." So we packed it in and I came home. Thus missing yet another Opera Club get-together. And Leslie and Nikki's housewarming party is scheduled for opening night of Il Travatore, to which I have primo tickets, so I don't even know how to address that problem. Today was such a miscarriage of good intentions.
Okay, the following list of improbable things is why I did not make it to my Opera Club party tonight:
1) I was nearly eaten by a rottweiler on my way to the bus stop. It was on the sidewalk with its owner and I tried to walk behind it which apparently is a particular pet peeve of this particular dog, who lunged at me with his mouth open and some loud sounds. Pretty sure I yelled "Jesus!" at which point his owner just shook his head and said "You're fine." I love dogs and still did not care for this incident.
2) I had to call 911. Again. For like the 10th time in my life. Some guy was passed out in the middle of the sidewalk on Snelling and University, at the bus stop. I was on a bus that stopped there. Not only were there people on my bus specifically crowding up to the windows to point and laugh at him, there were people AT THE BUS STOP not one foot from his body that were laughing at him. So I called an ambulance, because whatever that guy's deal is, laying on the sidewalk in the rain is a bad choice. Also, I called 911 loudly from the bus and everyone that was on the bus that was laughing about him slunk back to their seats and stared out the windows and the bus was SILENT for the entire rest of the time that I was on it. And may I say, I'm glad all of you felt like assholes, because you were. If you or someone you loved were passed out on a sidewalk, wouldn't you want someone to look into it instead of pointing at you and laughing? WTF is wrong with this country?
3) I was supposed to pick up my bus at E Lake Street and Snelling (the mysterious other Snelling...I don't get it, but whatever.) I triple-checked Trip Planner to make sure that I was at the right stop. An hour went by and I was still standing there. I called MetroTransit, which said the next bus for that route was in 9 minutes. Sure enough, 9 minutes later, the bus came. On the other side of the street. Going the other direction.
4) At this point I was nearly an hour late and Leslie had been standing outside the venue for more than an hour (she couldn't get in as I had the tickets). I walked down to the Arby's to call a cab. The guy I talked to first said "Oh, I know where you are, I used to work at that Arby's..." then followed it up with, "Oh, your name's Keli? That's my babymomma name." I was like "Yeah, that's FINE" and then he said my cab would be at least 15 minutes.
5) Oh, also, when I told the guy the address I was going to he absolutely insisted that it didn't exist. I needed 1st STREET, he could only find 1st AVENUE. He was like "Just explain it to your driver when he gets there" but I didn't really know where it was so that would have been pretty hard.
6) At this point I called Leslie and was like "This has gone horribly wrong and I won't even get there for another half hour at an absolute minimum. This crossed the line from odd coincidence to evil omen." So we packed it in and I came home. Thus missing yet another Opera Club get-together. And Leslie and Nikki's housewarming party is scheduled for opening night of Il Travatore, to which I have primo tickets, so I don't even know how to address that problem. Today was such a miscarriage of good intentions.
spit at you by Nil at 11:24 PM
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