Get Out Of My Dreams And Also Out Of My Car

I have a lot of homework to do and no time in which to do it. I've decided to give up on school and try to drink my way into a successful career. I'd make a Bush joke but those are pretty played out. Like Chuck Norris jokes. There's a fad that deserved to die a horrible death.

I woke up at 7:30 this morning to a series of loud sounds outside and my first thought was that bombs were going off. I don't know what it was but on reflection it sounded like the same noises I used to hear when I lived next to the dumpster for my apartment complex and the truck that emptied it dropped it all the time. For some reason the way this neighborhood is constructed, every sound that happens at normal volume on the street can be heard clearly in my bedroom. It gets tiresome. It will be the reason I burn the Burrito Loco to the ground.

(If you glance through this thing I've been threatening to burn a lot of things to the ground lately. I think the fire is a metaphor for my passion, or something. Dear God, don't let anyone burn anything down, or I'll probably get shipped for it.)

My favorite bad business model of the moment is Let's Grab A Drink, which tries to match potential dates based solely on their drink preference. Although "Coffee" and "Tea" are options, the site basically functions to introduce people with obvious and uncontrolled drinking problems into each other's company. Here comes unwanted pregnancy!