I Have To Pay $55 To Go To My Office Christmas Party

My eyes have been itching for several days and sometimes I rub them so hard my contacts fall out and I have to pop them back in without benefit of cleaning. And I rarely look in the mirror so I'm pretty sure I've been walking around with mascara smeared all over my face. I'm a sexxxxxxxxy lady.

I had a stressful day at work, as I have to keep calling all these libraries and asking if they got the information I sent them, and I have a theory that most of them threw it away and now they don't want to lie to me so they say they haven't gotten it. Also they've decided to make me start picking up the phone when it rings even though I don't know the answers to anything that anybody could ask, up to and including "What is your address?" I'm really self-concious about both my violently American accent and my total ignorance on British phone manners, in addition to my crippling stage fright regarding phones, so it all adds up to a party.

I had to give a group presentation in my internship class tonight. It went alright, I guess. I wasn't terribly formal which is my biggest problem with public speaking. But the point is, the first group that went gave a presentation about football hooliganism that ended with giving everyone in the class a can of beer. It was the best presentation ever.

That reminds me of this little exchange about rugby:

J (with sympathy): "Oh, you didn't make the team?"
Kyle (with sincerity): "Dude, I'm not very good."