Just One Piece Of Lead

Current Song: "I Hung My Head" -- Johnny Cash

I pretty much spent the entire day doing crossword puzzles, watching cartoons, and making stupid Flair for that facebook application. End result: a completely wasted weekend that was not as relaxing as you'd think, since I have nothing to point at and say "I did that, that's what I did." No, I barely got out of bed. And I ordered pizza again and ate it in a narcotic fit because I am a loser who doesn't deserve a regular paycheck.

I am a mess, and I don't even have celebrity status, just a bit of food stuck to my shirt and hair that hasn't been washed in days. I wish I were a different person who didn't entirely suck at being a human being. Pretty much if I'm not at work I'm basically checked out on the world. And that's not indicating I'm productive at work, either.

Everyone is tired of hearing me bitch. Even I'm tired of it. I can't stand to be in a room with myself for more than a few minutes. Sorry everyone, sorry I massively failed at being interesting or functional at all.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I don't want to go to work tomorrow. What I really want is to go completely fucking insane so I don't have to get out of bed anymore and nobody says anything about it. And people bring me food or else I starve, neither of which are a bad option right now. The conversation I had with that girl who just got out of rehab haunts me, because I told her that if anyone goes down it will be me, and I'm afraid I won't be able to tell Down until I get there.

Stop reading my blog. What's the point, anyway.