The Earthiest Smell

Current Song: "A Stone" -- Okkervil River

Who goes to a show, the existence of which is entirely predicated on dancing, and then stands there stiffly and exudes annoyance and judgment at your dancing? I ended up standing there most of the time bouncing slightly on the balls of my feet and occasionally waving one hand around, because all I could see was you in my peripheral vision A) spending most of the show looking at the door, B) shuffling your feet every now and again in a disconcerting manner, or C) staring at me and obviously remembering that time that you told me my dancing embarrassed everyone and that you respected me for being brave enough to do it anyway. That was the least fun time I've ever had at a show and I'm willing to say it was entirely your fault. It's occurred to me recently that most of the times we go out and do something together I end up regretting it. What sort of a position is that to be in after all these years?

On a semi-related note, my interpersonal failures are so out of hand these days and I don't think anyone realizes how unmanageable it's gotten. I am a shitty person to try to know.